Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. An emotionally intelligent person has strong self-awareness, can identify and manage their own emotions, and can understand, interpret and respond to the emotions of others. Forbes magazine opines emotional intelligence is one of the strongest indicators of success in business.
So if it’s so important, how do you develop the skill or art of emotional intelligence.
· Self-awareness: Be aware of yourself, your emotions, and the impact they have on people around you. Rather than reacting to situations, try to respond thoughtfully. Reflect daily on your interactions with colleagues, partners, and stakeholders and see what lessons you can draw to improve your next interactions.
· Language: Hone your communications skills, be specific and careful about the words you use, the questions you ask and the messages you send out. Try to sense how they land on others and again try to improve your next interactions.
· Empathy: Be a very active listener. Do listen to understand rather than forming a dialogue ready to go. This is not a debate. Observe verbal and non-verbal cues from the other person and try to identify the true meaning of what they are saying rather than what is on the surface. Ask thoughtful questions (if they are appropriate) to show your interest. Try to walk in their shoes or understand where they are coming from.
· Resilience: Life will throw many curve balls and stressors in your journey. An emotionally intelligent person will take these challenges as life lessons and move past them. Try to have an optimistic lens on life.
· Stressors: Self-awareness also helps you identify what stresses you out. You may not be able to avoid a stressful situation, but you can definitely choose how you respond to it. If it’s an external situation like traffic on your regular commute, think about whether you can adjust your work hours to avoid rush hour, or if it’s work email, avoid checking it at night. When it’s other people who are behaving inappropriately, do not let it affect you. (I tend to say, not my circus and not my monkeys).
Do virtual meetings and interactions make it harder to be emotionally intuitive? Can you read the virtual room as effectively as the one in real life?
I would love to hear from you and learn from your experiences.